So it may or may not be obvious that my blog title is a play on the word “self-actualization.” I’m not vain (or confident) enough to pretend that I’ve achieved anything like it, and the Great Gooracle doesn’t retrieve any good words for “aiming for self-actualization” so I went with wordplay. Not my best work, to be honest (got a better idea? let me know), but it’ll do. An aphorism is:
1. A tersely phrased statement of a truth or opinion; an adage.
2. A brief statement of a principle.
I can get behind that. Every time I sort out a new piece of myself, I find myself slapping my forehead and going, “holy shit, dude, that’s actually true!” Less so with the “beer then liquor” (or is it “liquor then beer”? Damn. See, this is why I can’t drink), but totally so with things like “early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Which totally sucks because I really like sleeping until noon. Especially in the winter. But when I drag my sorry ass out of bed early and get some light therapy and start doing things, my whole day is different. Fuck you, Ben Franklin. You probably just meant, “I’d better get my sorry ass out of my mistress’ bed and back home before the wife wakes up or she will beat it to a bloody pulp.” Most wise men were actually a total mess. So that’s one thing I’ve got going for me, anyway.
So this blog is a few things: my entry back into a consistent writing practice and the concomitant building up of the callouses needed to be read by an audience of potentially hostile strangers; my musings on growing up, which appears to finally be happening in my late thirties thanks to seven years of funding my therapist’s amazing vacations; satisfying my occasional desire to be annoyingly self-righteous about shit I’ve already worked through in therapy that other people haven’t in such a way that if you’re like “self-actualized? More like self-ass-you-alized” you can just click away without worrying about seeming rude. But seriously, you need to work on your wordplay. And obviously I need to work on tightening my sentence structure. So we both win! Or lose? I’m not sure. See above about clicking away quietly.
Sometimes I take myself way too seriously. I try not to, but if you come here often I inevitably will. Please do me a favor and comment something like “balls!” when I do that about my personal growth. Because nothing good ever comes from taking yourself too seriously about growth. Remind me to share my therapist’s anecdote, Rule Number Three.
That said, I have a very serious side, and I will probably indulge in it here. I like to talk about geeky topics like organizational dynamics and history and science and cult sci-fi television. You may be the person who comes here for that. You may be the person who comes here for the navel-gazing. If you’re here for both, why the hell aren’t we friends?
I also totally love giving advice, because it’s way easier to solve other people’s problems than your own. I kind of secretly hope that people will write me and ask me for advice so that I can pontificate, because some people knit, or scrapbook, or work on old cars; I like tell people what they should do. I guess that’s not a secret anymore. Unless no one is reading. Or knows me at all.
Thanks for joining me. I hope I don’t bail on this in a week when I don’t have much to say and am crippled with anxiety over the judgment of my character by total strangers.